homemade beard oil recipe

The Manliest Beard Oil in Existence!

Not feeling manly enough? Have you been sensing a need for that extra jolt of badassery? Then you absolutely must try this killer homemade beard oil recipe.

Read on to discover which secret ingredient makes this concoction so reminiscent of Sex Panther cologne (“60% of the time, it works every time”).

Let’s get to it then.

What You Need

For a lot of DIY recipes, you usually need both carrier oils AND essential oils. Essential oils are pure essences of plants, fruits, and seeds. They are used because of they are therapeutic or healing. For example, lavender promotes deep sleep and relaxation.

Carrier oils, on the other hand, do exactly that — they “carry” these oils to the body so that they are better absorbed. In addition, they dilute the effects of essential oils that may otherwise irritate or even burn skin because of their strength.

Here are the carrier and essential oils you will be needing for our recipe.

Carrier Oils

The carrier oils, which form the base, comprise the following:

  • One part jojoba oil
  • One part almond oil
  • One part mysterious ingredient

The Mystery Ingredient

Now, you might run into a little trouble coming across the mystery ingredient at your local grocery store. That’s because the mysterious component, my dear reader, is bear fat (commonly known as bear grease). So hopefully you’re good with a few hunters in your circle already. Either that, or you should be a savvy online shopper.

Essential Oils

And now for the essential oils. We also have three of these:

  • Peppermint
  • Lady Sclareol
  • Tangerine

Tangerine and peppermint blend well together helping mask the interesting petrol-like scent of the rendered bear fat. They ultimately come together to form a pleasantly aromatic mixture.

Instructions

Here’s how to DIY your homemade beard oil. It’s so easy you can do the following in just a couple of minutes.

  1. Snag yourself a glass bottle that comes with a dropper. (Glass is best; it doesn’t react with liquids or oils.)
  2. Mix the carrier oils (jojoba oil, almond oil, and bear fat) with equal parts of each.
  3. Once they’re completely dissolved, add a smidge of Vitamin E.
  4. Now mix in the essential oils: peppermint, Lady Sclareol, and tangerine. Make sure to include about 6 to 8 drops of each. You should experiment to suit your unique tastes by varying the ratios. Even slight changes can alter the smell and effects considerably.
  5. Close it tight and clear any excess.
  6. Mix well and prep your beard with gusto for a fresh dab of manliness.

Additional Tip

After you’re done concocting this blend, you can impress your dinner guests by utilizing the leftover bear fat for cooking. Believe it or not, it’s an excellent source of cooking oil!

Interesting fact: The food the bear has consumed gives its fat its creamy pinkish hue.

Why Bear Fat?

It’s worth having a brief discussion about the various uses of bear fat. Apparently it makes for a scrumptious pie crust, but historically it’s been used for waterproofing leather as well as an insect repellant by Native Americans  So, it goes without saying that the oil will leave your beard shiny and free of insects (if that was even an issue, to begin with).

See Also: Beard Oil Recipe For Beardruff And Acne

But hey, if you’ve got the urge to feel even more masculine, why not try recycling some of that good ole’ bacon grease once you’re done cooking breakfast for the missus? Hell, why not try adding a dash of gunpowder?

Watch the Video

Manliest Beard Oil Recipe


Warning

We have no clue whether the resulting concoction will be any explosively good or if you’ll sustain any long-term badass injuries. But you be sure to let us know.

Kidding Aside…

We don’t want any bears harmed in the making of your beard oil. Please know that this recipe will work just as well without our mystery ingredient.

beard meme